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I never really grew up.
You're a dream,
I think that you seem to be doing much doing.
I never really knew that
you could be such a saint-like person.
Even to improve me.
You came over when you heard I was ill.
You came and stayed by my bedside 'till the end.
You came to my bedside when I was ill.
You came and stayed until I could end.
I never really grew up,
but it seems you really grew past the stage
for me to wonder.
And each day you shared it
makes me feel so good,
deep inside like you hoped it could.
I hope that you know that
you're the best thing I've ever known.
And if I'm dead, well, you know, you made me feel
anything but alone.
You came by just to see me go.
It's more than you know, it's more than you know.
You came by just to see me go.
It's more than you know, it's more than you could know.
And if we knew each other some other way,
would you stay? would you stay?
I have to ask you.
Smile and nod and shed a tear.
You wonder if I would even hear the answer.
As time goes by, I'll sit and cry in my mind, for in my bed I'm stuck.
I made up my mind, made up my mind.
You're the one who'll be with me when I am out of luck.
If I could let it be that way.
If I could be that way.
If I could let it be that way.
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2. |
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One day makes seven days makes a week.
Makes the truth.
I'm weak, I'm meek, I'm underwater.
When I see circus dogs circling, barking, on the brink, I compare and contrast: what is there? what is there?
This page won't last.
What's more than this?
I haven't slept.
What's more than sleep? to be crossed over?
And I wanna find that sign,
that silent door which you know.
On the inside of my skin,
muscles glue me, moving, and
return your blessing
and look with glee.
I know glee.
Wanna try?
'Cause I know glee.
And all that changes,
all that grows,
all that's strange,
all we know:
I lost my head,
I lost my head,
I lost my head,
I lost my head.
I lost my head.
I stared at the sun too long.
I want the world to end.
I'd like to watch myself burn.
I'll immolate my hands.
There's nothing to show a statue.
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3. |
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What’s this sorrow about? Why can’t we sort it out?
Why’s the truth getting worse than fiction?
It takes a whole lot of clout and a need to test it out
to place the world in such a bullshit position.
I never dreamed I would lie awake and hate
Lie and wait for a new inquisition
If we are built to destroy ourselves in fear
then why put up with the endless transitions?
Fear is always around, I won’t let it get me down
This world is more than a one supposition
Suppose we’re all just one mistake, deep inside a dream of hate
bound to consume itself since its own conception
I never dreamed I would lie awake and hate
Lie and wish for some new information
If we are made of the thoughts in our heads
why can we not control our obsessions?
There is no reason to believe, to use a myth a sieve,
to call to arms based on weak superstition
if we could lay down our guns and realize we were all one
then we could no longer call ourselves humans
I never dreamed I would lie awake and hate
Lie and wish for an end to volition
If we are made to exist or survive
why must we ask a myth for permission?
If we are built to destroy ourselves in fear
why put up with the endless transitions?
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4. |
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Tomorrow, we walk with hands as one.
We, being unoccupied, sleep afternoons.
Tomorrow, we redefine "fun."
We, losing concentration, stare into the sun.
Tomorrow, we forget to know wrong.
We, boiling in the heat, forget to be cold,
when we grow old.
Melting like a cat caught in the corona of a star
that's so bright I can't see,
I'll liquefy under the pressure of the biggest skies.
Tomorrow, we sublimate into the air.
Tomorrow, we find the we don't care.
We, being like hydrogen, combust and disappear.
Tomorrow, we can reinvent the Right.
We, being blank paper, into airplanes fold,
when we grow old.
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5. |
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The face is gone,
the jaws remain,
a tiny existential thing,
gobbling up rational thought.
The face is gone,
the jaws remain,
do this, please don't think again.
Gobbling up rational thought.
"Jowls" is a dirty word.
Creeps inside my brain, unheard.
I know what you meant to me.
"Jowls" is a dirty word.
I can find this so absurd
that you will not mean much to me.
The face is gone,
the jaws remain,
don't think again, it won't be the same.
Gobbling up rational thought.
The face is gone,
the jaws remain,
don't think again, it won't be the same.
Gobbling up rational thought.
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6. |
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Stay awake softly,
don't even dream.
Stay awake softly,
amphetamine.
Stay awake softly,
listen to me.
Stay awake softly,
listen to me.
We asked to sleep the night before.
This task we can't and won't deplore.
Force unto thy futile will,
strength, anon, by handsome pill.
The skies look down on me today.
I gave before they took away.
The fields of rye, I swear,
they cry en masse and seem aware.
Remove pain by lies, by rights.
By rights the skies were vaporized
in 1945.
Time and sacred lies!
Stay awake softly,
whisper a scream.
Stay awake softly,
don't even dream.
Stay awake softly,
amphetamine.
Stay awake softly,
don't even dream.
Pass the form, through vibration,
to cross the space for imitation,
adjusting wrinkled memories.
Can you see what I can see?
Hours gone for all but words.
What is said cannot be heard.
Search the blank and humble stare.
Stretch and shine and make aware.
Don't dare to dream.
Don't dare to dream.
Don't dare to dream.
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7. |
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(take one)
The road was worried for my feet.
I smoked a life's worth of regret to take a few unhurried steps,
to wander down the stream.
A loverly life's affliction for loose lips,
a topography present in snips and snails, lobster tails in blue,
an atypical discordant trial, for the unheard, unknown, untried, untrue.
The road was worried for my feet,
so I took a trip away from the street
in silver and earthy pastels with a high glossy lacquer finish.
If California wasn't west,
I'd swear there was some kind of mess
in the pain of the dying of the sun.
The road was worried for my feet.
I smoked a life's worth of regret to take a few unhurried steps,
to wander down the stream.
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This is free if you want. Just type 0. or zero. or whatever nothing looks like for you.
released August 3, 2006
